Michele Attias Life Coach

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Why You're Already As Solid As A Rock

There is something about returning to your home town, mine being Gibraltar, that is tinged with memories from the past, but also a reassuring feeling of returning to a solid and secure base.

Not only is the Rock of Gibraltar notably solid as it stands out at the entrance of the Mediterranean. But it's a reassuring sight as I observe through the plane window, the sight of the rock majestically standing like a phoenix rising from the ashes. 

For me there can be no more reassuring sight, I breathe a sigh of relief, I'm home

What baffles me is that I have spent more than half my life time living abroad, yet I continue to call Gibraltar home. Does that mean that no other home I have created in other countries has been considered good enough to compare to my childhood home? The question is why a number of us living abroad return there periodically for some nurturing, time with family and a return to our roots.

We seem to be lacking this when having moved to a a foreign country and culture.

It seems that however old we are, we never fail to regress to our basic human need, which is love and connection, and what way to get this need met that returning to the place that you were born. I agree that not everyone feels that way about their country or culture, and there are a great number of people who are more than happy to never see their country of origins again.

However in discussing this with other Gibraltarians, I realise that we all find our way home as often as we are able to return. Essentially because people in this part of the world embrace you with their warmth, and family members take you back into the fold as if you had never left. The question is whether your home town becomes that more attractive because you don’t live in it day to day but only return for holidays. Surely if it was so amazing we would have never left in the first place.

The secure base for me not only signifies what I call my Rock of Gibraltar, but the part of us that is healthy, happy and unmarked by life. Secure no matter what difficulties we have experienced throughout our life. This is veiled and often covered by the contents of our life, by the way that we stumble through it.

We forget that underneath this we can find a 'secure base' or anchor in which to ground us.

I always believed that my family and my upbringing in such a special community was what had made me feel secure. Yet as I left the comfort of Gibraltar and experienced life outside this protective shell, I noticed how I returned periodically for another 'fix' of security. 

This is when I began to question the notion of security. 

What I realised was that in fact I had always carried this secure base within me, I just had never realised it.  I found this out the hard way when I found myself moving a number of times within a short space of time. This made me question if the house or town I was living in was the reason I felt secure and safe. In fact what I began to realise is that security is inside every one of us. 

Despite my childhood beliefs that I could only feel good in Gibraltar, I realise that I can feel good in any country.

In reflecting on the Rock of Gibraltar, I realise that we are truly are as solid as a rock – It is just up to us to believe it.

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