Michele Attias Life Coach

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Why Changing Your Habits Should Be Your New Goal

When reflecting on the goals we set each year, there is an element of overwhelm which makes them hard to grasp. They are the one thing we endeaveur to master every new years eve and by January 21st we are unmotivated and bored with the goal we set out to accomplish. 

Habits however hold a different meaning and energy.

Do you notice that successful  people seem to build a different level of habits, starting from the moment they awaken. They arise differently, have a different ritual, practice, language and focus to the rest of us. Whether it be Richard Branson, Tony Robbins, Oprah Winfrey or Deepak Chopra, they all have habits that built over time create a connection to their purpose and their vision for success.

It’s hard to imagine them playing games on their phones, staring vacantly into space or using procrastination as a way of excusing their to do lists. They were born with the same potential as we were, and in fact in some cases were born into the poorest and most difficult of backgrounds.

So what makes them different?

Is it the massive wealth they’ve amounted, their confidence levels or (dare I say it) luck?

Not at all, you see the difference is small yet monumental. They have created different habits that built over time create a life they have carefully crafted. They’ve surpassed their default setting and created new patterns of behaviour which incrementally grows their success, rather than relying on their habitual one.

It begs me to ask.

Which habits engulf your every moment?

We're all familiar with the habitual behaviours we've taken on that have stuck to us over the years that have neither served us nor increased our likelihood of success.  Fine tuning your habitual behaviours ensures you stick to a daily practice that can empower and pave the way to the destination you are driving to.

They represents a slow progression, building up to a crescendo of new behaviours and actions which slowly begin to shape and create a new energy and (hopefully) a new more exciting future.

If you want to change any area of your life, resist setting goals, create a new habit or behaviour instead.

As an example, a few weeks ago I was coaching a client about his stress levels, on further reflection he sat back and stated "I think the problem is my habits".

In my experience, I didn’t believe it was just his habit but the language he used to describe these habits. For example, when he described his daily routine, the language he used was "My e-mail inbox pulls me in".

Since when did an e-mail inbox seduce you into its clutches?

Rather he gets such a great feeling from opening his e-mails, as he feels needed and important.  I encourage him not to force any change, but to just observe what he does for the next few weeks.  Each time he finds himself choosing to access his e-mail inbox, he could say to himself “I’m choosing to check my e-mails" 

This allows him to become completely engaged in the process rather than passively navigating through his behaviours and habitual patterns like a hypnotised victim.

There was only one question I had for him, and it was, "Is this habit serving you?" His immediate response was “Not at all, it makes me distracted, unfocused and stressed".

Isn’t it fascinating that even when we know something can potentially be destructive, unproductive and senseless, we carry on doing it.

It’s important to verbalise this as a matter of choice rather than something you passively drift into.  As expected, the next magical phrase on his lips was “How can I change it?”.

It is pointless trying to attempt to change this, all he needs to do is replace this habit (which makes him feel needed and self important) with another more healthier habit which brings about an even better feeling.

If he would feel a more effortless joy, focus, presence and accomplished through more productivity by checking his e-mails less, this could certainly replace one habit for another, still bringing about a great feeling.

The habit formula in 9 steps:

  1. Start with observing your habits without judgement or attempting to change them.
  2. If you were your best friend, which habits would you encourage to stop?
  3. Start using the word ‘choosing to’ rather than using passive language such as ‘I had to’ ‘I was sucked in’ ‘I’m pulled in'.
  4. Ask yourself which one habit is taking you away from the life/business you want?
  5. If that habit was not in your life, what would life look like?
  6. What would it feel like?
  7. What need is the habit fulfilling?
  8. What feeling does continuing to engage in this habit give you?
  9. If you could replace it with a healthier/more productive habit, what would it be?

If you reflect on where you are in life right at this moment, begin to explore your daily habits. If you’re broke, reflect on the habits you have around money which are keeping you financially defunct.  If you’re overweight, examine your eating patterns as well as your excersize routine.

You only need to take a long hard look at your life to wake up to the effects of what your daily habits have produced. Is it not about time you raised the game, created new habits and crafted a new, more productive and exciting future.

Categories
Self Development
Tags
Lifestyle Coaching
Life Coaching
Leadership