Michele Attias Life Coach

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Stop Waiting for Life To Happen And Start Living it Now

An event occured in the afternoon rush hour train in London a few days ago, and it moved me to such an extent, that it’s difficult to even articulate.

Here’s what happened;

A man walked into a packed train carriage during rush hour, sat down on his seat, opening up a family size bag of chocolates as he did so. He then proceeded to lean over to each person in the carriage and asked each passenger if they wanted to partake from his bag of chocolates.

You could have heard a pin drop.

I have waited for this moment of connection on a train carriage for what seems like forever.

Initially, the other passengers were taken aback by the gesture, suspicion clouded their faces, but slowly I watched as a few smiles surfaced, and some even lent over and took a sample from his bag of chocolates.

As this happened, more people began to laugh at the strange gesture appearing before them. As if a creature from outer space had just entered the train and offered magic dust.

It is truly incredible that this is such a strange and uncommon occurrence.

So much so, that it shook everyone out of their habitual domain. Those sitting in their seats with a sour face were transformed into a much more appealing and magnetic version of themselves.

There were smiles, laughter, and embarassed giggles emerging from those staring at the view in front of them. The passengers even began conversing with each other to discuss the oddity of the moment.

The guy offered chocolates to some who took from his bag and some who didn’t, he was totally unattached to the outcome, it just didn’t matter. It didn’t knock his self-esteem and no sense of rejection was felt by him when some said ‘No’ to his offer. He just sat back in his seat and watched the results of his action unfold before him.

Here’s what was incredibly beautiful.

This guy was just one person who completely and utterly changed the atmosphere of the train journey for everyone. To such an extent that it was one of the most enjoyable journeys I have spent, during what is normally the dreaded rush hour.

What is even more fascinating, is that people pay good money for therapists, psychologists and coaches who will help them to connect with people, build better relationships, feel more love and just feel a sense of belonging.

I know this because it is one of the main reasons clients reach out for my life coaching.

There is a misunderstanding that if only your self-esteem was more elevated, your confidence more refined, if only you believed in yourself more, then you could embark on what it is you want.

And yet this guy did it by nonchanantly opening a family size bag of chocolate Maltesers and proceeding to share it.

Transforming those twenty minutes for everyone.

Simplicity is not even the word for how effortless this felt.

Steve Maraboli stated in his book ‘Unapolagetically You: Reflections of Life and The Human Experience’:

Stop waiting for the perfect day or the perfect moment. Take this day, this moment and lead it to perfection.

And it truly became a perfect moment. It was simply one persons version of making a concious choice to make a difference during the train ride.

You can do the same.

Make a concious choice to take action on something that you are dilly-dallying around.

You can just commit to a small intention each day. It doesn’t need to have the grandiosity of a life purpose (or even sharing a bag of chocolates). Just a simple question to pose yourself.

What is my intention today?

And then go out and just do it.

Nike (the Sportswear brand) advises ‘Just do it,’ and we buy the trainers and all the equipment to show that we buy into this philosophy. But do we really? Or do we proudly display the motifs on trendy shirts, matching tracksuit bottoms and trainers, but god forbid should we take it into the domain of our lives.

What would you love to do but are waiting for that perfect moment?

What if there was no need to wait, but you could just get started today. Think of the one thing you can set an intention for, and commit to doing it, even if it’s the smallest thing.

What would be fun to create today?

Unattached to the outcome just embark on it.

Lead from this question, and watch life unfold as you choose to craft your reality. You might want to develop a new connection, a potential client, a business opportunity, a new relationship, or even create more breathing space than you experience daily.

The great aspect of this is that you remove expectation, the waiting around for life to deliver what you want. Instead, you are an active participant in life, you are creating, carving and crafting each moment, exactly how you would like it.

I had a coaching client a few years ago, a single woman who was weighed constantly by expectation towards others. This had taken monumental proportions and it kept her feeling constantly dissatisfied. She spent life waiting for others to make her happy, secure, connected and give her what she needed.

She seemed to be waiting for the perfect moment that would change her life.

I realised that she needed a major life shift, so I suggested she volunteer at a homeless facility for a few hours over the holiday break.

She came back from this experience a changed woman. She had no idea that she had so much to give. In a homeless facility, she couldn’t expect to draw from those who were there, so she dug into her own resourcefulness, and to her surprise she found love, connection, understanding, compassion and fun.

She realised she had a well of resources she had not tapped into. In her desire to look to others to fill her up, she had not realised she had so much inside of her that was overflowing. This insight changed the trajectory of our work together, as she stopped waiting, and began to take more focused action.

She changed from being a victim of life, to owning her experience.

I can totally relate to this, I waited for the longest time, to just get started. I was too busy collecting an assortment of life goals I planned to embark on, like one collects stamps for their prized stamp collection. Meanwhile, the years were passing by, the moments were ending, the seasons were changing, but I wasn’t.

I remember a few years ago when my own Life Coach sent me a voice message all the way from California, which was delivered to my phone. His voice tired and croaky from waking up early morning, but with a steely determination to get through to me.

His voice uttered the following;

“Michele, what the hell are you waiting for, you’re ready to write a book, you’re good enough already. No one is interested in perfection, they‘re interested in connection. Just do it.”

The time difference and thousands of miles between us couldn’t change the significance of his words.

They changed everything for me.

So I embarked on the journey of writing my book, despite not feeling ready, with immense levels of self-doubt, but with a huge desire to inspire others.

I didn’t have to wait for self-doubt to go away (it never did), or for my confidence to be optimised. I just had to commit to a course of action that felt aligned to what I wanted to create, tap into support if I needed it, and follow through, no matter how rocky, or uneven the terrain felt at times.

Let go of trying to find the perfect moment, instead, commit to a course of action, step out and see it through. Imperfectly, sometimes clumsily, but still reaching out beyond your comfort zone, and you will grow beyond your wildest dreams.

What’s your take away from this article, and what can you do differently today?

Categories
Lifestyle
Self Development