Michele Attias Life Coach

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How To Overcome The Busy-ness Epidemic

If you're at the mercy of the busyness epidemic that has spread to global proportions, read on. 

This manifests itself by a need to be available to everyone, and the trade off is an inability to be present to anyone at anytime.

Just ask someone how they are today, and the first answer is 'busy', it's become a medal of achievement, a graduation in the university of life. More importantly, there is an aversion to ever uttering the sentence 

"I've got some blank spaces in my diary."

None of the people I come into contact with work in hospitals giving mouth to mouth resuscitation or are firefighters and ambulance staff needed in emergency situations.

They're normal people like you and I, yet being part of the busyness culture makes them feel important, valued, acknowledged, needed and people feed off this addiction like vultures over a carcass.

For many people, looking at an empty diary is like staring death in the face.

To indulge, listen and truly care becomes secondary to the external rush of the external stimuli which they have been sucked into. This is the biggest block to relationships between themselves and others.

I experience so many people immensely lost in busyness. You can see it in their every move, their every sentence, their body language and way of operating in the world. There is a tension when being around them. It's as if they would rather be elsewhere, as their phone pings or rings every few minutes. 

They're under the illusion that if only they could be busier, pack their diary even more and be at everyone's beck and call they would be more confident and self assured. I still haven't found one single person who has been truly cured of self esteem through packing their diary in an airtight fashion, in fact it seems to exacerbate the problem.

There is a different between busyness with no purpose as opposed to momentum and focused action which are important. If it feels productive and there is a gentle flow, then there is no need to stop.

Often the merry go round is driven by something that is not innate and is actually pretty destructive. This has no destination or direction but stays firmly in a no mans land continuing to swivel round aimlessly. 

It's like putting a (cheap) plaster onto a gaping wound. It will continue to bleed whilst continuing to ignore the actual wound.

I admit, having grown up in the Mediterranean, being laid back and indulging every moment was purely a birth right and when I came to London I could not believe the pace of life that people were sucked into. Not to mention by the time they had kids which had their own schedule of events planned with military precision. Guitar practice, gymnastics, dance, homework clubs and so on.

I totally refused from the offset to be dragged into this culture of vacuum packed arrangements.

As I observed further beyond the manic behaviour and desire to be there for anyone at anytime, I saw a troubling panorama underlying this, and it smelt of anxiety and fear.

I noticed a theme of either running to the past or to a none existent future, but avoiding the present.

And an even bigger avoidance, 

Emptiness.

If you identify yourself in this article, I understand that asking you to slow down is like asking a bull to stop charging through the arena. You have no idea how to do this, as you have for a very long time operated from this place.

Ask yourself, are you running towards something or running away from something?

I often find it's the latter.

So what's stopping you from creating spaces in your day?

What are you resisting? 

Imagine what it would be like to feel more present in your personal relationships, your business, your friendships, your world.

You could;

  • Feel more vibrant and alive.
  • Experience a higher level of presence.
  • Better quality of conversations.
  • Increased level of focus. 
  • Become more alert to your surroundings.

Go from busyness to creating more space in the following ways;

  • Taking a few deep breaths can sound simple but hugely effective. 
  • Put your phone on silent or switch off for at least one hour a day.
  • Disable your e-mails for the same period of time.
  • Take a short walk and imagine yourself as a child seeing things for the first time.
  • Create a childhood curiosity to your surroundings.
  • Create boundaries so at times you can be (dare I say it) unavailable.
  • Start walking slower and focus on your surroundings.
  • Shift the thinking and worries which are preventing you from slowing down.
  • Make sure you incorporate into your life more of what bring you joy (people/situations).
  • Practice letting go of pleasing everyone. 

This isn't about going from super busy to suddenly being zen and flat on your back.

It's about taking small steps to create more space, more flow and more of what you want in your life.

Imagine indulging in the moment and tasting a meal with every sense you have (not whilst doing 3 other things simultaneously). Being more present when your child speaks to you, looking at your surroundings and being blown away by the beauty (Autumn is doing that for me at the moment). Loving fully and giving your attention when you're in the presence of someone else.

The great thing about this is that you become present to more of who you are, you bring yourself totally into the process.

This means that those are around you get a full and unedited version of you, rather than a fraction of you.

Categories
Coaching
Lifestyle
Self Development
Tags
Life Coaching
Lifestyle Coaching; business coaching; personal development; personal growth;